The Protective Covering of a Father

Cheryl Uncategorized

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I have not written a post in about a year. It was completely unintended. We began to have some catastrophic events occur in some of the marriages closest to us and I have been heartbroken. It has honestly been a long path of healing and trying to seek comfort and wisdom in the Lord. The short story is that several women left their families, tearing them apart with their own hands and leaving a handful of children motherless. This has been difficult for me to accept, impossible for me to understand, and I have honestly questioned if I am fit to speak on such matters at all or capable of being able to help any other person.


The greatest take away for me in all of this has been a great burden on my heart for the little ones. Many tears have been shed and prayers uttered for their covering and protection. Something that has grown in me has been a desire to write about raising daughters to be wives. In the postmodern, post-Christian age in which we live, are we consciously making an effort to raise our little girls to be wives? How should we go about doing that? And what does Scripture provide as an example?


Galatians 5:24–25 reads: “And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”


Everything about Christ and His life is dying to self, serving the Father, and learning obedience through the things that He suffered. He humbled Himself, even to death on a cross, not esteeming equality with God something to be grasped. He is in this our example of how to be a Christian and a wife in every way. As wives we are to embrace the role given by God as our daily joy. This role purifies us by purging our self-focus and fits us for Heaven. This is not something that I think a lot of daughters are being taught. 


Ruth 1:8: “And Naomi said unto her two daughters in law, Go, return each to her mother’s house: the Lord deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me.”


Biblically we have repeated example of daughters going from the covering and protection of their father to the covering and protection of their husband. The parents are very involved in these decisions. Even in the book of Ruth, Naomi first commends the daughters-in-law not to go out and make a way for themselves in the world, but to return to their mother’s homes. And then we see this practice between the widow women as Naomi gives instruction for Ruth to be redeemed. In the New Testament men are given instruction concern keeping their daughters at home or giving them to marriage. In the book of Esther her cousin Mordecai who raised her keeps watch over her at the gates of the palace.


1 Corinthians 7:36–37: “But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.”


This is not a new concept but it is nearly unheard of in today’s Christianity. It is more likely that we hear even sound pastors promote preparing your daughters in the event that they do not find a husband: prepare to send them out into the world, be educated by Caesar and learn self-dependence in the event that marriage does not come. In doing this we almost guarantee failure. This is the design by God for the covering and protection of the weaker sex. His design is not in error. We are to have the protection of a father that transfers seamlessly to the protection of a husband.


A way to guarantee that the people in the world will use up our daughters for sex and contribute to abortion and perpetual singleness is to send them out on their own, to fend for and protect themselves and be without the God’s ordained covering and protection that He has designed. The longer that we are on our own, establishing our own likes and dislikes and ordering our lives without submitting to anyone, the more difficult it is to learn this later.


If we prepare our daughters from a young age to be wives and homemakers by teaching them God’s design and plan for them,we will not have a need to prepare them to make it on their own. He who finds a wife finds a GOOD thing. Many broken homes, broken marriages, aborted babies, and motherless children can be directly attributed to raising our daughters in a godless way, teaching them to seek and to serve self—which is the exact opposite of teaching them to be Christlike. We can attempt to teach them to obey God, but it is a weak attempt if we are not including in that instruction what God has said pertaining to His design for their lives. 


Romans 15:3: “For even Christ pleased not himself.”


We need to be intentional in our conversations with our little girls about pointing them to the future, preparing them to their true fulfillment in Christ that comes in fulfilling their design and role biblically. We need to set in our own hearts and minds that their fathers will be a covering over them until they have a husband. We must be resolved that we are not raising our daughters to survive alone in the world just in case a husband doesn’t come. We cannot be double minded and prepare our daughters to do both and then be surprised if they choose to seek and serve only self.