Finally, after she had pressed him daily with her words and pleaded until he was sick to death, Samson told her all that was in his heart: “My hair has never been cut, because I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If I am shaved, my strength will leave me, and I will become as weak as any other man.” ~Judges 16
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
Can your husband trust you with his heart? Have you betrayed your husband’s heart? It is so very important to a godly marriage, and I cannot stress it enough, that your husband be able to know his heart is safe with you, his wife. His help meet. You should be your husbands most trusted confidant, lover and friend.
Proverbs tells us that a man that has a wife, that he can trust his heart with, will be a man that will lack no gain. That means he will have a secure and trusted homefront, unencumbered and undisturbed by those that would seek to attack or demean him. That the husband is secure. That, what goes on in his home and his marriage, is a bond that is not shared with anyone. Not in-laws, friends or foes. Not with anyone. This is a husband that can trust his wife to never do him any harm, all the days of his life.
The husband knows that out of her mouth there will be no slander, gossip, or shame come from the mouth of his wife, toward him. And she has endeared her husband’s heart, even closer, because of these qualities.
A man that has a trusted wife is beyond blessed in his standing before man and God. His confidence, even though the world may assail him, is intact, for his home front is secure.
And the very opposite is true of a man that does not have a wife that he can trust with his heart. This man has instability, fear, and stress. He cannot relax or be comfortable, not even in his own home. This describes a man that has a wife that has set to destroy his home. She utilizes, gossip, slander and tale bearing to get the job done. She justifies her behavior with selfish motives. A husband with this wife, is fighting all fronts. The people that he is being gossiped about to, these folks are telling him how he should parent , how he should go about being a husband, all from people, that have been told tales by his wife.
Busybodies running from house to house. Carrying tales and breaking the trust of her own home. Breaking the covenant she made before God in her vows.
And why do women, wives do this? Because in their own discontent, in their own self-pity, they seek to cause others to force their husband, to do what they feel, he needs to do. They rebel against all submission to him. They desire his submission to them.
You could call it, leading by manipulation. When a wife spreads tales and gossip, what she is doing is she is gaining allies against her husband. She wants these folks to have ammunition to scold her husband. To basically team up against him, for the very things, she has been nagging him about.
And as each person that was gossiped to, comes to this husband and rebukes him, this wife sits back and says, “See I told you” And most times these husbands don’t even understand that their wives are betraying them, in every way.
I wished I could say this is rare, but sadly it is not.
And to be honest, by the time the wife has set her mind to tell tales, and spread gossip on her husband, it usually has passed critical mass, and rarely the marriage is salvageable. Make no mistake, all things are possible with God. If we surrender to God’s Will. But if we rather, will our will, then all can be lost.
You see, Scripture speaks of a virtuous woman as rare and beautiful blessing. This is not a trite quality for a godly woman. Oh, no. Quite the contrary. A husband that has a wife that holds and keeps her husband’s heart, and does not seek to betray his heart, she is a wife to treasure. And the men that have them, most do understand this. They understand that these women, are rare. That they are in this thing called marriage for the long haul, that they do not seek to control the marriage but have settled into God’s design for marriage.
The one thing that separates the two wives: the wife that her husband can trust his heart and the wife that her husband can’t trust his heart? This is love. This is love for God and love for husband. This is an understanding of the gospel. Of sacrificial love, that leads us to follow Christ in laying down our lives, loving others, putting them before ourselves.
A husband that has a wife that he cannot trust his heart, is a house divided and we are told in scripture Mark 3:25 “And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” A home, a marriage a life cannot be built on a divided house. To try is futility.
A husband that has a wife that he can trust his heart, has a wife that loves him so much she could not bear to betray his confidence and heart. This is a woman that trust and obeys God, knowing as “one flesh” if she betrays her husband heart, she betrays her own very own heart. To gossip and tale bear concerning her husband would not enter her mind, as that would be a act of setting a hammer to her house, to destroy it. “The two shall be one” To hurt either, is to hurt the union that was made one.
As women of God, our only source of biblical, godly womanhood is Scripture. We cannot go outside of that to apply worldly wisdom, to our marriages.
God’s Word is sufficient, giving us all we need to grow in wisdom and grace. Scripture feeds our souls. Worldly Wisdom feeds our sinful, selfish nature. God has given us, in His Word, His definitions of love, marriage and family. He has given us the Gospel. If Gospel is applied in marriages and gossip denied, a whole lot more marriages would endure. Even in this self -centered sinful world.
Christ sacrificed. Marriage is sacrifice. Everyday. To the glory of God.