Question Answered :Singleness. Working & Desiring Marriage

Shellie Uncategorized

Thank you for your question. I have been searching Scripture for this very question (I get many in the same general area).

Scripture tells us that men are to be over us as women, daughters, and as wives. As we begin our lives and until we get married the authority is our father’s. Then our father gives that authority away to our husband. The more God’s Word is disregarded, the more the roles of the family according to God’s order are not esteemed. Rather what is esteemed, even in the church, is the trends of the culture.

When I got married in the 80s I was one of few who did not go to college, but I did work out of the home before I got married. It was just accepted. But even in the Church I went to I was advised to go to college and have a “back up” in case my marriage failed. Yes, the women in the Church did not give me Titus 2 counsel but rather gave me very feminist, defeatist counsel. I was warned about husbands, never encouraged or counseled biblically, in the Church.

It took me a while to figure out that the Church looked nothing like Scripture. At that crossroad, I had to choose to listen to worldly women or Scripture. I chose Scripture and I do believe by the Spirit I was able to make that choice with such resolve. In doing this it caused me to be called legalistic, pharisaical, enabling abuse and much more. And that is for believing Scripture and not adopting the religion of feminism within the Church.

It is not sin for you to work. You are not in sin to have to work. You live in a world that does not honor women in God’s order of covering young women with the protection from father to husband. And if there is incidence of this, people act like they have a third eye. If a father actually seeks to safeguard and protect his single daughter in today’s climate, we have folks in the Church using the “C” word: Cult comes to mind. The custom of a Father “giving away’ his daughter at the wedding is rooted in the actual practice at one time of the daughter being under the Father’s authority and protection until “handed over” to the husband. 

Being a single woman, independent of a father covering you with protection and authority can cause a woman to adopt worldly precepts and forsaking what Scripture actually teaches. An example of this wrong thinking would be to want to continue to work after marriage, To forsake being the keeper of the home, to adopt a worldly, supposedly “sanctified” new interpretation of Scripture. That ‘keeper of the home” can include working to pay for that home, washing machine and dishwasher. Guarding your heart against worldly “marriage” ideas is vital to your future marriage. Our minds will either be saturated with God’s way or the world’s way. The worlds way teaches that it is all about you and God’s way teaches you that it is all about others. One way leads to destruction in marriage, and the latter will bless your marriage and not undermine it. 

God is not surprised by the state of this world. God is not even surprised by the Church and how far it has been driven away from the simple teaching of Scripture. But we can say that it is grievous to Him. My heart breaks for you who desire to be wives and mothers but marriage has not presented itself….yet. 

There are so many of you. You are a growing group of ladies in the Church that need to be ministered to and encouraged. 

I would encourage you to continue to pray for the desires of your heart in this area. Prepare for and train your heart to be ready when and if it happens. Pray for your future husband. Pray for your future children. 

Do you have access to a godly Titus 2 woman that would pour into you? If you do that is great. I hear so often of this lacking in so many young ladies’ lives. They are left to fend for themselves. This should not be. If you have access to a Titus 2 woman near you, do utilize her wisdom and learning her skills, cooking, homemaking, child rearing etc. Her counsel and encouragement will greatly bless you.

Go in that direction: learning, growing, and walking toward your godly desire in husband, children, and home making. I will tell you, so many men desire a godly woman, a woman they can trust with their hearts. Be encouraged. May the Lord bless you with the desires of your heart in honoring Him.

Paul says, “I wish all men were like myself” (1 Corinthians 7:7). Each one has their own gift. 

But the gift from the beginning of time has been the gift of being married, to be a man and woman in marriage.A “gift of singleness” does not or was not meant to override God’s command for man to leave his mother and father and cleave to HIs wife. To be fruitful and multiply. 

Paul was referring to those people that had no desire to be married. Your desire is to be married, to celebrate God’s design in Marriage, children and be a keeper of the Home. And to seek to glorify God. 

Thank you for you question. It reveals a heart for God’s design and a rejection of the world’s god of feminism.