Accepting Our Husband’s Authority

Shellie Uncategorized 5 Comments

3Wives, in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands, so that, even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ~ 1 Peter 3:1-7

I will be honest with you, ladies. I must be honest with you. I never want to sugar coat or hold back any part of truth, ever. That does not mean that I want to be harsh in doing so. I do pray and trust that God has answered and is answering this prayer every day. Truth, especially in our day and age, is looked at as hateful and intolerant. But contrary to the lies of the world, truth is loving. So loving that it cares to warn and does not celebrate or stay silent. I teach women because I love the Lord and I want God’s Word to be known and loved by Christian women. I pray that Christen wives will be convicted to be keepers of the home. I want women to love God, Husband and Children, to choose to walk in the Ancient Paths. 

Thus, says the Lord: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’

~Jeremiah 6:16

Women, go and walk in the ‘good way,’ to sacrifice your lives for God’s glory and reject putting self-first, a misery laden idol, that will leave you discontent and miserable.

My husband is a believer and I have been a keeper of the home for over thirty-eight years. Am even I able to accept my husband’s authority over me easily? Not always. But over the years, the Lord has shown me that accepting my husband’s authority is His will, and He enables me to do so.

I don’t do this perfectly, but through God’s Word and the work he has done in my life through His sanctification, my desire is to honor God through obedience to Him and through honoring my husband’s authority.  He has helped me to be slower to speak and quicker in asking for forgiveness in the times I fail.

And I will fail. If I say I do not, I lie to myself. We have been promised, ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’

When we do not accept our husband’s authority, if we actively seek to be contentious and cause strife to thwart our husband’s authority, we sin against God, first. He has given us a command. His commands are not troublesome to us. Because we love Him. We understand that all of our life is a form of worship. All of life is worship, we either hold up and with high esteem and live in a matter that reflects our love of God…

…or we live a life, showing little regard for what Jesus calls us to, but put ourselves first. Both are worship. Worship of God and idolatry of self.

Loving our Lord and in trusting in Him is obeying Him.

I am not speaking of salvation by works. I am speaking of what Christ has said: ‘If you love me, you will obey me’

We love our husbands; we honor and love Christ through our love and honor of our husbands. 

When we do not accept our husband’s authority, we are not accepting Christ’s authority in His command. And we honor ourselves and not God.

As I said, God has grown me in this area, and I thank Him for that. But, as I also said, I fail at this command, also. My heart grieves when I do. Because I love the Lord and I want to honor Him, but at times I, in my weakness, will fail.

But here is the thing, the important thing. When I was first married and for many years, I thought nothing of trying to usurp my husband’s authority. The churches we went to used terms like, “Nobody’s happy if mama’s not happy.” Mama was the authority. See how that works? 

My husband was raised by a feminist. The Lord grew us up in Him. We had much trouble and hardship because we lacked knowledge and wisdom. But when we went to the source of divine wisdom and knowledge, God began to grow us in Him. With reading His Word, not in modern context, not with a feminist lens, but reading it, as God commanded, not with disclaimers or caveats. God’s Word. His Word.

In desiring to love God and obey Him, we begin to die to self. Learning, praying, and taking the first step. Then another. It’s about walking in obedience, day in and day out. Failing, repenting. Every day, praying for wisdom, and guidance. Then going to the Word and reading wisdom and gaining guidance. Then we will put our wisdom to use every day. You won’t really notice the change in your heart but one day, maybe years later, you will look back and be humbled by God’s glorious grace as it has played out in our marriage and life. And you thank Him for the work He has done.

Every day we die to self-more and more. We find more and more pleasure in serving others. We little by little don’t take offense that we once did. Little by little, our love grows for our husband, and the role God has given him over us. 

2 Timothy 2:11

The saying is trustworthy, for:

If we have died with him, we will also live with him;
if we endure, we will also reign with him;
if we deny him, he also will deny us;
If we are faithless, he remains faithful

Things to ponder: Our love for our husbands does not depend on our feelings. Love is an act of the will. Accepting our husband’s authority, it is believing God and accepting His authority and commands

  1. Go to God’s Word. Read. Pray for wisdom. Pray to die to self. Pray for a heart of obedience to Him
  2. The Scripture is not to be interpreted by the culture or time that it is read. Scripture interprets Scripture and like God, it does not change. It is the same, yesterday, today and forever.

As I Survey the Wondrous Cross

By Isaac Watts

  1. When I survey the wondrous cross
    On which the Prince of glory died,
    My richest gain I count but loss,
    And pour contempt on all my pride.
  2. Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
    Save in the death of Christ my God!
    All the vain things that charm me most,
    I sacrifice them to His blood.
  3. See from His head, His hands, His feet,
    Sorrow and love flow mingled down!
    Did ever such love and sorrow meet,
    Or thorns compose so rich a crown?
  4. Were the whole realm of nature mine,
    That were a present far too small;
    Love so amazing, so divine,
    Demands my soul, my life, my all.

Comments 5

  1. This is kind of tangential, but what is your view of single women who have full time jobs outside the home, even ‘careery’ jobs (ie something more than waitressing or cashier, like admin assistant or marketing, etc). Is it sin? I feel like because I’m single & have to work, that I’m sinning or a feminist by default, but…what choice do i have? I haven’t avoided amrriage, theres just never been anyone interested (maybe I’m the only 25 year old left who can say she’s never been on a date), and I live with my parents but reality is there are still bills to pay, you’re kicked off parents health insurance at 26, and there’s the reality that it may take years to find a husband, and you have to be able to support yourself (as parents age and sadly are eventually gone). I plan to stay home once married, but is it a sin to work while single?

    **i posted a similar comment on another post a while back but could never find it again, i think I mistyped my email. But my apologies if this is a double post!

  2. Hello! Sorry this is a bit tangential, but I couldnt find a different place to ask. What is your view of single women working outside the home, even in ‘carrer-y’ jobs beyond something like cashier or waitress, like marketing, admin assistant, hr? Is it sin? If it is sin, but God hasn’t blessed us with a husband or prospects yet…what do we do?

    1. Hi Nancy, thank you for your question. I’m Cheryl, one of the writers and I practice headcovering, I hope that I can be of some help.

      When people ask me about headcovering I share my primary reason for covering which is this. That our hair is our glory therefore when we worship God we abase ourselves and cover our glory that only His glory be revealed. The passage only deals with corporate worship, in scripture we are instructed to cover for that, and anything beyond that would be preference. It would be sinful, true legalism for me to say anyone should cover every day.

      However for us to reject the practice we must explain how God is in error in this passage.

      There are some great resources for headcovering, the Head Covering Movement website is a wealth of information that you may find helpful.

      God Bless ~

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