The question that has been made so difficult in many a magazine. Many a secular magazine, telling women all sorts of foolishness on how to get a man. They tell them all manner of ungodly ways to get a man. But do these magazines tell them how to keep a man? Nah…that’s not the feminist mode of operation. The mantra is cemented in the ideal that they are not the possession or property of men, they are free spirits doing what pleases them and then when they become bored, they move on until they are pleased once again, over and over again.
This is in the world, primarly but it is quickly descending on the church , and I fear is already fully entrenched. Men are gun shy, even in the Church. They want a wife like their grandmother, or like someones grandmother. The grandmother that lived to be 96 and always looked at her husband as the most important person that ever lived, talked to him always with tender undertones, offering to help him in every good work. This woman doesn’t even sound realistic anymore. But she was.
This was my Grandmother. She was a precious gift from God to my Grandfather and to our whole family.She loved my grandfather, and even as a little girl I could see the love between them was a special love. Not at all in competition of one another, but one was leading and the other willfully and joyfully followed. She did not complain, ever. I always remember Grandma, at least in front of us grandchildren, displayed what a godly wife, mother and grandmother looked like. Was she perfect? I am sure she was not, but to tell you the truth I cannot remember any fault in her. She was perfect to me and I saw her with eyes that marveled at all she did, and most always while she smiled. Explaining to her granddaughters every little detail of what she was doing. Whether it be cooking, canning or sewing a quilt. She always made time.
She was patient, kind, always encouraging us to look to Jesus. She always got on her knees (Grandfather too) in the mornings for devotion and prayer. I never saw or heard a harsh coarse word from her mouth.
She taught me in her mild manner. I always felt like she was never in a hurry for me to speak or for her to teach.
As I grew up in my teen years I pulled away from her, because my feminist wings I was growing, I felt superior and justified. I saw her wrongly as oppressed and miserable. It wasn’t reality it was just how distorted my sight had become.I had learned the feminist anger. And I wanted to protect my new found “liberation”.
And my sweet Grandmothers Christian manner melted that anger, and I wouldn’t have it . As sometimes with anger, we enjoy it and comfort ourselves that it is justified, and that is what I did.Especially, if you were abused in some way, as I was sexually abused by a family member, our anger can destroy us. I was on that very road.
Then God saved me. He showed me my sin, and yes I had been betrayed in a wicked way by a family member, but my sin was no lest heinous to God. I was able to forgive my abuser and be truly free. His abuse did not hold my heart hostage to anger.But Christ removed the sins that stained my heart and I was forgiven so much, in turn I was able to forgive my abuser. I was a victim no more. I was redeemed. My sins against others had also been washed away.Anger and revenge will kill you.Those are sins. They are not justifiable sins. As much as I tried, God broke my heart. His love covered all the hurt, anger and bitterness. Gone, never to rise again.
And my heart was once again arrested by the Christian example of my dear Grandmother. I could now see clearly her labor of loving and caring for her family was not oppression but a labor of love. I would see it in the light of Scripture, of God’s order, not distorted by feminists disorder.She truly lived a life in the presence of God “CoramDeo”.
She was the woman that taught me to have a nice meal ready for my husband, and to serve him first, before the children. That he is to be honored and loved. That my husband will be there for you, long after the children have departed.Invest my time in him. Care for him, the children need to learn these things. They need to see you love your husband, so they can know how to love their spouse. They need these examples, these eyes in the mind to remind them.
My Grandmothers example was and still is worth more than rubies. I treasure those things in my heart and my husband loved my Grandmother also, she was an example to us both. She left us in 2014 but her legacy lives on. She truly was the example of a Titus 2 woman and a Provers 31 woman. She was a godly woman that loved the Lord and she lived that out everyday of her life.
What do men want? Men want to be loved above all, from you. Their wife. They want to know that their work is valued, and appreciated. They loved to be served. By you. They don’t want contention, manipulation and games. Men want a wife that loves them and does not want to compete with them. They have enough competition in the world. They need rest, stability and eyes that look at them like they are the most important person in your life. And besides Christ, they should be.
We live in an age of gender dysphoria. At the root is feminism. Feminism says that women can do anything and everything a man does. Seeking to be a facsimile, a copy of man. Well, we know by basic biology that a woman cannot do anything and everything a man can do. It’s impossible. But feminism proclaims this as it is attainable, and their “fight” will continue until this is fully achieved. Which we all know is make believe. Just as with the transgender generation that was birthed from the feminist dysphoria, is yet another fantasy pushed on reality based folks, folks that understand God made them male and female. There is no spectrum to include other genders. There are only two genders.
Men are tired of the games, of the manipulation and the sorrow that women of feminism, have wrought. Feminism is a type of revenge women exact on men, it’s cruel and unrelenting. Most men in our culture don’t even realize when then are being played, until they are blamed for being a misogynist and not being a good husband. And what does the world say that is? “Of course, men are animals, you just need to find a good one”. What they mean is you need to find an effeminate man that does what he is told.
So men don’t much bother, anymore. They believe all women are out to get them.Some believe the lies women tell them. And they are doomed to be betrayed. And real men won’t be controlled by women, and that makes feminists very angry. This is where they exact revenge.
To be married is hard work and not an easy road, why make it harder with a feminist world view? Choose joy. Choose fruits of the Spirit..love, joy longsuffering, patience etc.. Choose the road my Grandma did. My Grandpa was a Patriarchal leader and he loved Grandma, and they walked this life together, sharing and caring. Not against one another, but together. Married over 65 years. Choose that road, that legacy for the Glory of God.
Don’t choose bitterness and strife. That road leads to a place I see many unhappy women today. Two to Three husbands later, still playing the “field” but bitter and angry looking down on men like dogs, that need to submit. Men submitting to women. That’s a recipe wrought with gender dysphoria. Don’t fight against God’s order. Submit to it, and you will find joy. Real joy. Not a perfect life, there is no such thing, but a life of lasting joy, and influence that will affect and bless the whole family. Soli deo Gloria!! All Glory to God!!
Things to ponder:
- How many times have your bitter words shattered a joyful mood in your home? Who benefited from this?
- If we can choose to hold our tongues and when we speak, use them for encouragement,we too can join in the joy this causes. Real encouragement. Maybe if your husband had had a tough day at work, you can encourage him how much you appreciate what he does for you and the children. These words build up on real behaviors that should be appreciated. We as wives take so much for granted.
- Is your husband the most important person on this earth to you? Do you let him know that?