It is so easy to fall into the trend that is so prevalent today in the world, to put down men for being immature little boys, trying to escape responsibilities. To listen to women, say, “where are all the good men”? While it is true there is a big problem today with what is called “The Peter Pan Syndrome” a supposed syndrome where men avoid growing up. This can be an issue even in men that claim the name of Christ. Christian men are not immune to this “syndrome”. Sadly, it is growing amongst evangelical men. For women, we are not immune either.
In addition to “Peter Pan” we have prevalent among the women of the world, which is aptly named “Princess Syndrome”. Keep in mind these are psychology terms. While I do not adhere to psychology at all, the names are appropriated for spoiled, demanding, vain, immature (childish) and selfish young men and ladies.
These qualities of being spoiled, immature is neither virtuous nor endearing for male or female. You wouldn’t want your daughter to marry a man that bestowed such qualities but why is it so often that women who have these qualities are many times spoke of with flowery language.? By other women of course. Instead of spoiled, they will say passionate or opinionated. That, she is not immature, but rather child-like or spirited. Why do girls, or I should say women, get a pass on these immature and selfish behaviors as being part of a womanhood? Maybe this is true of the women of the world but it should never be true of a woman of God.
We live in a world that makes ‘self’ an idol and selfishness is seen as necessary for survival. Especially for women, because as women, by the world’s summation, we have been oppressed by men. In a world that celebrates ‘self-care’ as being a virtue. That we must love ourselves before we can love others. Excuse me? That is complete foolishness. We, women know that we don’t have a problem loving ourselves, it’s loving others is what we struggle with, so much of the time.
In our culture if a woman is loving God, her husband, her children and neighbors and denying herself, she will stand out. While she is displaying her reflection of Christ, in our culture, she will surely be ridiculed and mocked, as cultish. Our culture will tell her she is oppressed and abused. That her husband and even her children are taking advantage of her. And ladies, if you are not grounded in the Word of God, and resolved in your calling by God, you may be tempted to listen to these vile affronts to God, Himself.
Selfishness is not sin we can blame on the world. Sure, the world celebrates and even more promotes this sin. It bombards us with images of worthless things. But the sin that we allow to become manifest has been planted and fed in our hearts. We feed our sin. We cause it to grow. Those messages and images the world emits, they will either be accepted or rejected by us. Accepted if our hearts are already cultivating sin. Selfishness is fed by our viewing ourselves wrongly, thinking too highly of ourselves. And most importantly having a very low view of scripture. At the point our sin is manifest, we are believing our selfish heart and suppressing the Truth of God’s Word.
This is a recipe for disaster.
If you are an older woman, I would encourage you to come alongside a younger woman or a mother of young girls. Encourage her, but most importantly teach her what God’s Word says concerning what a godly woman looks like. What a godly wife and mother looks like. Not as some kind of legalism that requires checked boxes, but take her to the cross, over and over again. Teach her the Sacrifice that was made for her. What that really entailed.Teach her that our desire is to be more and more like our Savior. Teach her to love God’s Word. To want to honor Him in obeying His Word. Show her what that looks like in your own life. Bring her along as Titus 2 instructs you.
If you are a younger woman, find a godly older woman to mentor you, to teach you the things of God. She is not perfect, and she does not know everything. But if she will use God’s Word to teach you those things that God has given in His Word to grow you in godliness, her mentorship will be invaluable to you and your sons and daughters. So many times, today, young women discount the older women and their wisdom, and this is a sad reflection of how God’s Word is viewed. God’s word directs older women to teach younger women. Younger women cannot teacher younger women, they have neither the experience but most importantly they lack the direction by the scriptures. If immaturity is still a big part of a Christian woman’s interaction in her life, find an older woman that is tempered and cherishes God’s Word, that takes seriously your soul, and has mostly discarded the worthless things of this world.
Things to think about:
1.Godliness is not legalism. ( 1 Peter 1:4-6 4Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. 5And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; 6And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
2. Selfishness is not a virtue- James 3:13-18 13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. 14But if you have bitter envy and [h]self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. 15This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. 16For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
3. Immaturity should not be celebrated- 1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.