Dear Christian Wives,

Shellie Family, Uncategorized Leave a Comment

Dear Christian Wives,

Always be willing to be consumed of your time, affection and gifts. To be spent of your energy in the investment of your marriage and family. Pouring yourself into your husband and children. Do not listen to the world and all of its antibiblical slogans. They are everywhere, even coming from those who name the name of Christ. Love your husband, a sinner, just like you. Love him and put him before yourself. “Gasp”!! Show him your love as well as expressing it, verbally. Your husband is literally your “other half” as in a Christian covenantal marriage, the two of you have become one. Scripture says we already love our own bodies, and that is how we are to love our husbands, as much and even above and beyond how much we love ourselves. We are to think more highly of our husband than we do our ourselves.

There is so much anger toward men, today. Women have seemed to have lost their minds, in showing partiality to their own gender. This is feminism. This should not be for a Christian wife. Do not let resentment grow in your heart.I have counseled with many women over the years.And every time there was an especially angry wife, one that wanted her husband to act, and speak in a manner that met her approval, you found strife and discord in that household.

I implore you to search your heart on this one. Do not make a set of legalistic rules your husband must follow or there will be hell to pay for him, when he does not walk within these arbitrary borders. Your rules, your way. These rules (in your mind) are how he must treat you in a certain way, according to you. And if he does not, then you mentally keep a record of how you think he wronged you. And at this point you are angry. “How dare he not put me first”. As a child that has not got her way, we begin to store up the wrath and resentment for our husbands, and they don’t have a clue what they have done. Because in the reality of it all, they have done nothing but disturb the love of our own self, in not abiding by our rules. Ouch! And sadly, many times our husbands find out what they have done to us, the revive our wrath, at the very moment, at our very next argument. Because it will all come rushing out in a burst of emotion. Am I right? 

This demonstrates how scriptures describes us as the weaker vessel, not because we can’t handle hard things. We can. But, because our emotions, and our lack of self-control of those emotion. Many times letting our emotions rule over us. This should not be, ladies. Wives, please chuck and repent of those arbitrary mental hoops, that you think your husband must jump through. God did not say for us to scold our husbands for breaking “our rules”. God has said that idolatry is sin. Our rules are not what God has said, but rather what we have said. God has said that we are to love and respect our husbands. Do think the best of him. Do this and you will have peace in your home. Don’t we all want secure and peaceful homes? Scold and rebuke your husband for breaking your rules, and you very well, will have a home that is disordered and chaotic. No peace will live there.

Display Christian maturity as a wife, do not torment your husband with emotional outbursts. Rule over your emotions. If you are angry, please wait, pray and sleep on the situation.Please, please and please, I cannot stress this enough!! Ask God to give you wisdom and guidance. He will. So many times, in my own marriage, I have displayed immature selfishness, and so many times I had to repent for putting undue burdens on my husband. Ladies, I can’t stress it enough, how our emotions ruling over us, robs our marriage of peace. We must not let our emotions cause division and turmoil in our homes. This affects your husband, even at work, it affects you in the home and also the children. Profoundly.

Don’t sulk when you ask him what is wrong, and he says ‘nothing’. Or ask him what he is thinking about. And he answers “nothing”. Men for hundreds of years, have been known to think about absolutely nothing. Really, it is true. Men are not driven by emotion. We are. If he says, ” “nothing” believe him, and move on. Simple as that. 

Ladies, you know this, I don’t care how many feminists say otherwise, you do not own your body, your husband does, and your husband does not own his body, you do. Neither one should ever deprive the other of your bodies. The feminist movement, even within the church, has warped and put so many disclaimers on this command that they have rejected what God has actually said here. 

God’s word does not or never will need disclaimers or conditions. There is lots of sin in this world and a lot of fallenness. God’s Word is our Light in the midst of all the darkness. Do not ever avoid renewing your mind in God’s Word, daily. Get up early if you have to, but read, read, and read. This world is ever becoming darker. Go to Scripture, soak it up, pray, seek your peace in Christ. Not in this world, not in your husband or your children. Only in Christ. He will give you wisdom and peace to love your husband and children in a way that glorifies Him. Don’t look at the feminists, they are alone, bitter, and they hate God. They have no peace; their very tongues are filled with (venom of asps) destruction.  Don’t look at the destruction around you, don’t let it affect your family. Trust God. Focus on Christ. Cover your husband and children with prayer. Be the wife God has called us to be. This will bring peace. Obedience brings peace to our hearts and our families.

Things to think about:

  1. You are not to lead the home, your husband is to lead the home.
  2. God did not appoint you judgment over your home. (Deborah’s leadership was judgement)
  3. Laying down our lives, is what we are to do as Christians.
  4. Love is not selfish. It is selfless. 
  5. Peace comes from obeying God, and submitting to Him. Rebellion always brings strife and suffering.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.-1 Corinthian 13:4-7

Faith is not an instinct. It certainly is not a feeling – feelings don’t help much when you’re in the lions’ den or hanging on a wooden Cross. Faith is not inferred from the happy way things work. It is an act of will, a choice, based on the unbreakable Word of a God who cannot lie, and who showed us what love and obedience and sacrifice mean, in the person of Jesus Christ.

Elisabeth Elliot

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