18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 22Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters,f not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.23Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.– Colossians 3:18-25
Men and women, left to their own devices do whatever is right in their own eyes. Here we are in our time where the current state of affairs is confusion on gender, marriage and family. The world has determined that God’s order is of no consequence. We have been walking in this path that has brought us to this cliff. As we stand at the edge, we look back and see that many in the Church have joined the world in eroding biblical clarity and authority.
The Church has lost its voice in the culture as well as in the church. Much of the Church has surrendered significant ground on marriage and gender. They have compromised on what Scripture actually says. In part it has been a subtle effort, to soften what God has said, to appease a culture that is saturated in Feminism and Gender confusion.
The Church is lacking courage to speak boldly even when the church may even hold to a biblical stance. Not wanting to offend a congregation that is becoming more and more like the world. So most tend to avoid the topic all together. Avoided like the plague by Pastors, because Church leaders have failed to biblically counsel and abdicating to worldly psychology. Instead of applying the Word of God, they punt the issues to secular institutions that cannot answer these questions biblically. In doing so the Church begins to think, not scripturally on these issues, but as the cultural does.
Colossians 3:18 –25 is not shocking or something new in the biblical texts. This is God’s will for the orderly structure of the home. We are commanded to put ourselves under subjection voluntarily, to come under your husbands. In subjection to him.
Let us look also at Ephesian 5:22-24-22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands
Christ has no qualifiers here. Submission in everything. No qualifier for the husband. No qualifier. There is no “I will come half way if he comes halfway” No qualifier. It does not mean that if you don’t think your husband is leading well, you should step in. No qualifier. You are to submit to your husband. To be subject to him.
What submission is not: It is not a position of weakness; it does not mean you are inferior or lessens your value. And never to sin in your obeying this command.
Submitting to our husbands is not always an easy task, let us be honest. I have failed terribly in this command so many times, I cannot tell you. And to be honest, being raised in an era of feminism even in the church, I was never mentored rightly in this area.
Being in submission is a beautiful picture of power and strength, that we can display in our roles as godly women, obedience first to our Lord, in our submission to our husbands. We can be the helpmate God wants us to be and in this our obedience trickles down to our children. When we support our husbands’ vision and goals ,we are being “one flesh” and not seeking to divide our own flesh. We love our own body and we care for it. We don’t want to destroy or tear down our flesh.
Like all teams there must be a Captain and one head. When you have two heads, you have a monster. And this monster will destroy a marriage. When you have a couple pulling in the same direction you have harmony and peace, not strife which exists when a couple is pulling in opposite directions.
If there is a struggle for leadership, there will be trouble. Wives, you are the chief advisor, you can plead and advise your husband, but he is responsible to God and your husband will make the decision that needs to be made. Will you always agree with that decision? Probably not. Do we gloat when that decision ends up not being a good one? We do not. We do not seek in our roles as wives, to work against our husbands. But our role as wife, is to encourage and stand with him. Support him and build him up.
The encouragement and the restoration a woman provides is invaluable to a husband. This is God’s design.
If your husband is weak and a bad leader, it is not your role to take over and lead. I have heard this so many times, and I will admit out of my own mouth. But it is sin. When we act in this manner we are in pride, thinking higher of ourselves than we should. God’s order is best for Church, society and family. We do not get a pass by using the lies of feminism to justify disobeying God.
Is Jesus a Chauvinist? The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Marriage is designed to be a picture of Christ and His Church. It is Gods wisdom that Marriage glorifies Christ. Husband (Christ) Caring, protecting, provider. Wife (Church) nurturing, submissive, supportive.
Jesus set the agenda for the Church and sometimes it seems that the feminist agenda and/or the WOKE church seeks to reset that agenda. But, submitting to the will of God is best for us. It is a means of elevating and serving our Lord Jesus.
A home where a wife submits to her husband has more harmony. A wife is equal to God in her dignity and value as her husband. And at the same time God has saw fit to call women to submit to our husbands.
Genesis 3:16 the wife is told that her desire will be for her husband and he will rule over her. God is saying that Eve would desire to rule over her husband, but her husband would instead rule over her. Replacing the mutually interdependent relationship the Lord had created was a desire for one spouse to lead the other. Sin had wrought discord.
The same reference “desire is for you “is used when God tells Cain that ““If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it” (Gen. 4:7). Sin sought to rule over him. But God told him he had to master it.
We were told that at the fall, part of the curse is that we would seek to rule over our husbands, and God has said our husbands would rule over us. This is His order.
How do we do this? How can we obey God and serve our husbands? We are Christians, we have been given a new heart and the Holy Spirit and there is power to live in a heart of newness. Ladies, God has called us to embrace His order for His creation in the family and the Church. We must look at the reality of what scripture says and seek to honor God in it.
Our role as a submissive wife does not diminish our value. Our roles were given to us by God. It is a privilege, a blessed calling. Submission is not weakness at all, it is a powerful role. Do we not submit to sinful leaders, hasn’t God called us to this? Our husbands are imperfect sinners. And don’t forget that we too, are imperfect sinners. This fact was not lost on God. If God has called us to submit to imperfect leaders, and we do. How much more should our hearts attitude be to serve our husband in summitting to him, as unto the Lord.
Even sinful unbelieving husbands, wives you are to submit to them. God is not asking you to sin. Never. But in everything else that is not sin you are to submit to your husband.
We are unworthy of this calling; we deserve nothing good. God’s mercy has saved us through Jesus. We are honored and privileged to serve our Savior. We want to do so, with a heart attitude that reflects the love of Christ. Not begrudgingly, and bitterly. God wants us to orient our minds and our actions to align with His commands and not our feelings or emotions.
Sadly, feminism has filtered in the church. Feminism claims it wants equality, but the truth is, it wants domination to overthrow Patriarchy. Women kill their own children in the name of feminism. Feminism does not seek the good of women, but rather destroys women and the family. Feminism is abusive to women because it is against God design. It claims women wise but makes them fools.
God’s design is perfect. We are imperfect. A submissive wife is a beautiful powerful testament of a wife obeying her Savior. She is to be honored and cherished in the Church. Obedience to what the Lords commands, we don’t do this because our husband is wonderful, but it’s because Christ is wonderful.
If a woman will not submit to her husband, she will not submit to God and His Word.
Things to think about:
- Are we humbled by Christ’s work on the Cross for us? Do we seek to submit to Him?
- Do we desire to submit to our husbands as God commands us?
- Do we support and encourage our husbands? Or do your actions display rebellion to your Lord in your heart attitude to your husband?
A Christian woman’s true freedom lies on the other side of a very small gate—humble obedience—but that gate leads out into a largeness of life undreamed of by the liberators of the world, to a place where the God-given differentiation between the sexes is not obfuscated but celebrated, where our inequalities are seen as essential to the image of God, for it is in male and female, in male as male and female as female, not as two identical and interchangeable halves, that the image is manifested.- Elisabeth Elliot