Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; t does not rejoice at wrong doing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 3:8-12
I have noticed a very unhealthy trend among many Christian wives and mothers. I see them complain that their husbands don’t do enough around the house. Or complain that they don’t have enough time for themselves. They complain.
I am going to give an example of a Home Breaker. The following example sadly, is a true story. I honestly am seeing this scenario too often among Christian marriages. What can we learn from this? Are we exhibiting some of the destructive habits or behaviors of this Home Breaker?
Have you seen a marriage where the husband is working really hard and doing everything in his power to make his wife “happy”, but the wife never is satisfied? She wants a new car. Husband gets a car. She wants a bigger house. Husband gets the bigger house, even though they have to really budget tight. But she is never content or “happy”. Wife is ever complaining that her husband could do more, or make more money? The wife incessantly corrects her husband in front of others, demeaning his character. The wife complains that she doesn’t’ have this or that thing. You do your best to encourage her in her marriage. Pointing out to her the wonderful blessing is her husband and children. (Proverbs 14:1) The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down
But then you get the news. The really sad news. She leaves her family for another man. And this news hits the husband and children extremely hard. As you would expect. But their faces, the pain. It’s so hard to watch. It hits you hard.
Christian wives don’t do this, you keep saying. You weep and you pray that she will, in repentance, seek to reconcile with her husband. And God will be glorified through this trial, because the babies, the children. You know they won’t be able to process why mommy did this. You try to contact her but she will not answer. You can’t stop crying every time you think of this family. Crying out to God “Please, heal this marriage, Lord”.
Then more bad news comes. You hadn’t even thought about this. You get the really bad news, she has divorced him.
I don’t care how many times I observe or hear of this same situation I feel so much grief and sadness for everyone involved but especially for the Husband and the children. They are left to pick up all the broken pieces, and so many times, they don’t know where to start. They stumble and hesitate to begin to be find a new normal that does not feel normal nor safe. They are broken, and many are broken so badly.
The wife chose herself above her children and her husband. This is a form of idolatry. Loving herself more than God. As Christians we are called to love our neighbors. To put others first. Our spouses and children are our closest neighbors. We are to regard others before ourselves. Selflessness. Service to our families. These are what true homemakers seek.(Philippians 2:3) Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Sadly, this wife chose what she thought would make her happy.In the moment. It very well might give her a faux happiness, but it will be fleeting and temporary. She will be left discontent, every wanting what she does not have. (Proverbs 14:12) There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
(Proverbs 14:1) The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
She exchanged the truth of what God has said about marriage for a lie. She chose to tear down her house and not build it up. She chose to leave (abandon) her husband and children. Divorce for innocent spouses and children is said to be a harder mourning process than even mourning a physical death. That is a lot of pain to inflict on family members you said you love. Love confirms itself by action. How we treat those we say we love. (Matthew 19:1) 4He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
A few things to think about:
- Are you finding yourself only moody around your husband but not so much with friends or with your children?
2.Do you find pleasure in taking care of your husband? Taking care of your home?(preparing his food, serving him, encouraging him serving your children.)
3.Do you complain to others or to your husband that your husband does not provide enough money for your family?Do you cultivate being a Homemaker
4. Do you cultivate being a homemaker?
(Matthew 5:16) In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
What are some of the things you do to build up your husband, children and home?
I pray that God gives me the wisdom and the strength in Him to be of a good attitude, always. When I fail, He is still faithful, and I will trust Him. That He would give me wisdom not listen to my feelings but always meditate on HIs Word, seeking only to please Him and grow in His grace. I thank the Lord for my husband and my precious family that He has blessed me with, that He would always keep these priceless blessings in the forefront of my mind, that I may cherish and treat all my blessings with love and tender care. Making every effort I can to build up my husband, children and home to the Glory of God. ~Amen
***Does this same scenario (men abandoning) happen to wives? All too often we see this same sad scenario played out by husbands and wives. Yes, it does. But we, on this blog are focused on the Christian woman, mother and wife. Seeking, through God’s Word, to apply biblical wisdom for building up marriages, raising children and homemaking.